


blasphemy ;; phan

by screaminggay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: #boyxboy, Dan - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dan Howell and Phil Lester - Freeform, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Falling In Love, First heart break, Gay, Love, M/M, Multi, Otps, Phan - Freeform, Phan AU, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, Poetry, Romance, YouTube, bxb - Freeform, pjil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 13:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9610280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaminggay/pseuds/screaminggay
Summary: what happens when two boys find each other and fall in love?short chapterslowercase intended





	1. him.

> _he has the most beautiful murky brown eyes that shimmer in the afternoon sun. curly brown hair that billows in the breeze. a small crater on the left side of his face that appears when his face lights up. shiny laughter that sounds magical when he finds humor in my bubbly attitude._
> 
> _his name is dan, dan howell._
> 
> _and we fell in love, it was blasphemy._


	2. prologue

it was a warm summer day when we met. we both were taking the grossest form of public transport a school could offer; the bus. it was only the third day of school and i was ready to tear my hair out. our driver just let the younger kids run wild, best example: a little boy, maybe eight years of age, just ripped his shirt off and is now running up and down the aisle screaming and twirling his shirt above his tiny head. god help me already.

 

i lift my hands up in surrender, haven already given up on trying to control the pack of wild dogs and rub my eyes, sighing,

 

i heard a deep chuckle from the seat next to me and look over to see a very attractive boy staring at me with amusement flickering through his murky eyes. "there's no use in controlling them. they're feral and this is their wilderness," his lips open up to reveal the perfect teeth inside, his voice smooth and velvety.

 

i sigh in defeat, fully aware that this annoyingly attractive stranger is right, before my eyes meet his and i smile widely.

 

"i don't think i caught your name," was my response

 

"dan, dan howell"


	3. tumbling through the world

*

**"i don't think i caught your name,'' was my response**

" **dan, dan howell** ''

*

_' dan, that's a pretty name for a pretty boy. '_

were my thoughts later that night after our small conversation. i smile to myself. i had already decided that i'd continue our conversation tomorrow.

~

i walk out of my bedroom and into the living room to turn on the lamp so i wasn't completely blind. i flipped the switch and cringed while covering my eyes with my spare hand, the bright seeping through my fingers. i hiss and turn away so i'm not facing the glowing lamp of my misery. i remove my hand and rub my sore eyes.

why do i have to wake up at 5:30 again? oh yeah, to catch the freaking bus so i can suffer through school. great.

its 6:35 before i'm finished getting ready and i check the time on my phone.

'oops,' i thought, 'i'm going to be late for the bus.'

i scramble to find my bag before i slip it over my shoulder along with snatching my water bottle then dashing out the door and running down the sidewalk to where the bus would be arriving any minute. i'm still hurrying my way through the sidewalk not realising i've reached my destination until i tumble through a familiar figure.

"oomph," i grunt when i land on the not-so-hard surface and look up to see i haven't exactly landed on the hard concrete, but on the very person i was hurrying to see.

"oh, it's you," he finally says when i lift my eyes to meet his.   


	4. random animal facts

**"oh, it's you," he finally says when i lift my eyes to meet his.**

*****

"hey, pretty boy," i smirk

he groans," you could get off me, y'know?"

i blush and help him on his feet, "sorry"

its fine, why are you in such a hurry?" he questions when he's fully standing on both feet.

"the bus, i was running late" i reply

"well, it looks like you won't be late after all. the bus comes in five minutes."

"i know i was running late to be early."

"oh"

an awkward silence ensues. i sway back and forth on the balls of my feet while dan whistles and looks anywhere but me.

"so...," i wrack my brain for easy conversation starters, but fail to find any so i just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind; which happens to be an useless animal fact.

"did you know that scorpions can hold their breath for up to six days?"i blurt.

dan gives me a confused, startled look "what?"

"scorpions, they can hold their breath for up to six days." i repeated then started to ramble "sometimes i look up useless animal facts when im bored, plus i have no friends so that leaves me with a lot of free time-"

his bubbly laughter interrupts me mid ramble "you have one friend."


	5. bandit way

**"you have one friend."**

*****

 

"so... friend, what type of music do you like?"

"muse"

"oooh, i am the emo trinity af,"

"did you know that gerard way named his baby girl bandit?" dan queries then rants, " bandit way. that poor child! she'll have so much hate for ot, i tell ya, "

"i don't know about you, but i'd fuck bandit,"

"phil! she's three!"

i physically and mentally face palm. _great._ he probably thinks you're into pedophilia now.

"oh, well oop" i blush

dan giggles.

"dog or cat?" dan asks

"i like cats better, but unfortunately for me i'm allergic so i can't have them."

"aww, boo. i feel you. cats are my fav as well."

i look up and see the bus pulling around the corner.

"ready for another day in hell?"

"totally ready, dan."

"ughhh, why does the bus have to run this early?"

"idk, idk."

we get on the bus and sit in our respective seats. we don't have assigned seats, but we've been riding for a long time so we have seats that we normally sit in.

i sigh and lean my head against the cool glass window hoping to get a little more shut-eye before we arrive.


	6. ol' phillydelphia with his love of curly hair

**i sigh and lean my head against the cool glass window hoping to get a little more shut-eye before we arrive.**

*****

 

"phil, philip, philly, philgon, philadelphia!" I feel someone shaking my shoulder annoyingly.

"what?" i reply groggily.

"we're here!" the irritating voice cheers.

"and where exactly is here?"

"school"

"oh, yea right," i hazily get up and shrug on my bag. i climb down the bus steps and end up shoving a few people out of my way because they all were crowding around the doors.

"excuse me" i shouted in anger, "if you'd be so kind as to remove your asses from the door we could all unload faster and you could get on faster, please and thank you."

they do this everyday and it drives me crazy. i was polite the first dozens of times, but it has gotten old, like a bad joke after you hear it way too many times or an old meme.  y'all know what i'm talking about i hope.

most of the douche bags glared at my back as i walked away, but i also heard approval within the large crowd. well at least some people agree with me.

i'm not here to appease them anyway. i wait a few steps away from the large crowd for dan. my bright blue eyes scanned the area for him and he was right behind me.

"time for hell," i greeted when i saw him again

he chuckled and i saw the dimple he created when smiled. i don't know why, but i find it really cute, in fact, i find his whole being cute.

today his hair was straight, contrary to when we first met. it might've been because it was a september afternoon with a strong heatwave and his hair got wet. or maybe he showered in a locker room. or maybe he didn't have time to straighten it because he was running late.

for whatever reason it was curly, i liked it. 


	7. thinking about dan

*****

**for whatever reason it was curly, i liked it.**

*****

 

it was another glorious school day. nothing happened out of the ordinary today. i just did my regular routine like i have done all week. it's a vicious cycle. i'm riding the bus and the noise has been very boisterous. i sigh and lean my head on the cool, glass window. i have always thought that cold items against my forehead were very relaxing when i was having even the worst migraines, so that's what i'm doing now.

caramel brown eyes shift past my vision and a ghost smile plays on my lips. i have been thinking a lot about dan recently. it's been a good couple months ever since i have met him and every time i see him, butterflies fill up my stomach.

it's an achingly good feeling, that makes me very anxious and nervous around him sometimes. the butterflies are almost bothersome now. i want to be able to hang around him without getting that nagging pit in my stomach egging me to do nothing to embarrass myself. i hate that i feel that i have to be so self conscious around him. it's mostly vexing because i cannot ever seem to figure out why and that sucks.

his warm smile with his sad dimple and pleasing laugh are now filling the void behind my eyes. my god, he's beautiful. wait, phil! you can't think that your best friend is beautiful. you don't need him to be thinking you're weird now! i face palm at my stupid thoughts, because that's all they are, stupid thoughts. i don't like him in that way. i know i don't. i'm over reacting and need to calm down. i shake my head wildly to get rid of those thoughts.   


	8. inner monologue screaming and guys like phil

i'm running late this morning getting ready for school due to my numerous amounts of time i spent scrolling through my tumblr and twitter feed. i do think i have a problem. i struggle around with the zipper of my skinny jeans before hastily throwing on my jumper and tying my shoes. i checked the time on my phone and realized that i did not have enough time to straighten my hair. great. i hate my curly hair. it's what i like to call my "hobbit hair".

besides, i spent more time thinking about phil lester than anything else and that's the problem. he's straight, need i remind myself. i am not so much. i'd like to say i'm gayer than tyler oakley, but no one can be as gay as that twink. i've always known i'm gay, even from a young age. don't get me wrong, girls are great, but i find guys more appealing. guys like phil lester.

i sigh at the deteriorating amount of time until i inevitably have to leave. running my hands through the mop atop my head, i grab my bag and sprint out the door. i just can't miss the bus and risk not seeing phil. i don't know when that i came to terms with the fact that i liked him, but it just happened and boy do i. skating across the icy pavement, i almost don't make it in time , but the bus driver was just pulling up as i arrived. shivering from the january cold, i pulled the sleeves of my jumper over my hands and climb the bus steps.

my eyes scan the bus seats finally landing on phil in his regular seat. i shift my bag so i can easily sit next to him. Phil smiles when he sees me and his eyes brighten at the sight of my hair. i groan in aggravation and grumble out, "yeah, yeah, don't remind me."

phil just giggles and runs his fingers through it. "i like it." i feel heat creeping up my neck and spreading throughout my cheeks. i grin shyly, "th-thanks. i truly do hate it, though." he just grins in response and yawns. he rests his head on my shoulder and a tight coil of anxiety swarms through my body as i wrap my arm around his shoulders.

' _seriously dan! you need to get yourself together_.' my inner monologue was screaming.

"you tired philly?" i respond surprisingly strong.

"sure am danny," he garbled languidly.

i shift my hands through his naturally straight black hair and soon enough his breathing evened out, so i knew he was asleep.

my heart's still beating swiftly for this boy. i contently lean my head back and close my eyes listening to the soft chatter of the people behind us. 


	9. "hey, dan?

**my heart's still beating fastly for this boy. i contently lean my head back and close my eyes listening to the soft chatter of the people behind us.**

*****

"hey dan?"

shutting the door to my locker, i turn around and face phil. he's biting his lip and his knuckles are white from the tight grip on is bag.

"yes, philly?"

phil kicks his foot back and forth and looks down slightly blushing.

"what is it phil?" i question with my eyebrows furrowed.

"wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?" his words were all rushed out and jumbled into one word, but i luckily understood.  


	10. "yes, philly?"

**"wouldyouliketogoonadatewithme?" his words were all rushed out and jumbled into one word, but i luckily understood.**

*****

my smile widens, "yes, i'd love to."

he looks up, relief washing over his face. "how about tonight at six?"

"sure. text me when you get to my house." i lean over and kiss his cheek. "see you later,".

"okay, see you." he replies blushing.

i turn on my heel with my bag and rush outside, not wanting to miss any time before the date. 


	11. moral dilemmas and did i just come out to my mom?

*****

**i turn on my heel with my bag and r** **ush outside, not wanting to miss any time before the date.**

*****

 

sitting on my black checkered duvet, i anxiously pick up my phone and call my friend louise who lives across town. she answers almost immediately.

"dan?"

"yes, hey lou it's me. i have a moral dilemma and this might be awkward but i really need your help." i pick at the fraying ends of my duvet.

"yeah, sure dan, anything."

"so," i pause, "i'm going on a date with this really cute and hot guy i like and, well lou, i'm clueless. h e l p!" i sigh exasperatedly.

She giggles, "okay danny, let me think. y'know those black skinny jeans you love to wear?"

"yeah...?"

"good, wear those with your white jumper with the alien on the chest area and your converse."

"omg thanks lou! i appreciate you!" i jump up with excitement and run over to my closet.

"take pictures!" i hear her shout through the receiver right before i end the call.

"will do," i laugh and immediately launch into getting ready.

 

*******************

 

looking at my reflection one last time in the mirror, checking for any errors in my hair, i sprint to my bed for my phone. i snap a few selfies and send them to louise just like she asks.

sliding my shoes on, i nervously pace in my kitchen waiting for phil to arrive. my mom pops her head in the kitchen during this process and raises her eyebrow.

"where are you going dressed like that?"

"out?" i look at her in the eyes, waiting for the motherly disapproval i felt was sure to follow.

"with whom?"

"nobody important, just my friend phil," i answer shortly, not exactly knowing where this is going. i've never officially told my mom i was gay, but i also have not talked about any girls either. It was enough to make her suspicious. i am not scared to, i just haven't found the correct time to do it.

"are you sure he's just a friend?" she smirks knowingly

i sigh and shrug "unfortunately," 


	12. chiming doorbells, thanking phil, and unwarranted butterflies

*****

**"are you sure he's just a friend?" she smirks knowingly**

**i sigh and shrug "unfortunately,"**

*****

 

the door bell chimes and i rush to pull it open. i suck in a breath, "wow, phil, you look... wow." i say breathlessly.

he was wearing a plaid button up that clung to his skin and black skinny jeans.

he pulls out a bouquet of yellow tulips and white daisies. "thanks, so do you." he replies with a blush. "these are for you," he hands me the flowers

i grab them with delicacy and motion to phil to come in. "thanks! let me just put these in a vase. you can follow me to the kitchen!" i say excitedly. i love flowers, especially daisies. 

my mum was nowhere to be seen upon entering the kitchen. i sigh in relief. my mum wasn't overprotective as much as she was curious. she'd scare the daylights out of him just bye innocently questioning him. she just has that aura. 

grabbing a vase out of the cabinet, i give a quick glance in phil's direction and ask, "how'd you know?"

he looks startled, "uh, come again?"

"how'd you know that my favourite flowers were daisies.?" i question again.

"i had a hunch that you did or maybe a little birdie told me?" he winked and his lips formed a smirk. 

i plop the pretty bouquet into the vase and fill it with tap water. i place them in the window sill above the sink.  

i grab phil and pull him into a tight hug, my arms wrapping around his neck and his encircling my waist, "thank you."

i feel his eyebrows knit against my should and his mouth move. "for what?" confusion laced his voice. 

i feel butterflies fill up my stomach and fly around, trying to reach my throat and fly out of my mouth from the close proximity to phil. i smile, "for today."

he looks up to me. "we haven't even done anything yet!"

"i know. thank you for ever considering today to occur." i look into his eyes and blush.

"oh dan," he brushes my fringe back so he can stare at my eyes, "you don't need to thank me. i'm doing this because i really like you and i hope you like me too. "

i squeak as i feel his lips brush my cheek and his hot breath on my ear. "and don't forget it."

a heavy blush travels up my neck to the tip of my ears, turning them a deep crimson. "o-okay." i breathe out a stutter.  


	13. idk maybe he'll tell me where we're going if i speak spanish

*****

   **a heavy blush travels up my neck to the tip of my ears, turning them a deep crimson. "o-okay." i breathe out a stutter.**

*****

he smiles, "shall we get this show on the road?" 

i nod shyly. 

"great!" his smirk turns into a smile. he bends down to pick up a picnic in his left hand and grabs mine with his right. my heartbeat increases.

he leads me out of my apartment complex, swinging our conjoined hands along the way. 

"where exactly are you taking me?" i gesture to the basket with my free hand. 

his eyes twinkle, "hmm, i wonder where?" he raises his eyebrow and pursed his lips. "oh, i know! on a picnic."

"¿pero donde?" i mutter.

"No te lo digo," he responds. i raise my eyebrows, surprised that he understood me.

"¿por qué?" i question.

"porque."

i groan.

 


	14. dan(iel) and his cute dimples

dan groans and i giggle. "you forget that i'm in spanish 3 as well, honey."

he facepalms. "duh you're in my class."

i laugh, "yup."

we arrive at a small clearing in the forest. i set up fairy lights in the trees next to a small pond. also, i put a large blanket to sit on where there are pillows for us to sit on.  my stomach flips. i hope he likes it.

dan stops and his eyes travel around in wonder. i hold my breath. 

"wow," dan sighs and i let out my breath.

"so, you like it?" i ask timidly

he looks at me incredulously, "i love it!" he exclaims.

i smile, "good, i'm glad."

"let's eat!" dan laughs.

"right this way, ma'am," i bow towards dan. he giggles, his dimple showing.

my eyes widen, "you have dimples?" he blushes, "you're so cute!" i poke his dimple.

"shut up," he mutters abashedly. 


	15. the end of the date and the end of the book, farewell y'all

we finally had made it back after two hours lakeside. we talked, laughed, and ate. i had an incredulous time. phil was walking me up my porch steps, his hand in mine.

i turn to him upon reaching the door, "thanks for tonight. i had a really nice time." i blush.

he smiles, "i'm glad, i did too." i give him a smile in return. 

"we can do it again, yea?" i question hopefully.

he steps closer. "of course."

"see ya at school tomorrow?"

"yeah, and one more thing dan."

 

"wha-"

and he kissed me.


End file.
